More than words…

We are born and instantly the journey begins. The journey toward all the first things.

The first time we sit up. The first time we crawl. The first laugh, cry, smile. The first time we sleep all night. The first time we eat solid food. The first step.

The first words.

Yes … the first words … everyone loves the first words.

But communication begins before that … doesn’t it?

Communication begins before words.

With a smile and a cry and giggle we communicate what is on our mind … the things we need at the time we need them.

Communication is part of us … and it is more than words.

Communication is one of the most important needs that we have as people. That is how we were designed, formed, created … to need communication.

And … commmunication is more than words.

Our journey continues …

We go through elementary school, junior high, high school (hopefully), undergrad (maybe), and we enter the world of whatever we choose to do for the rest of our lives … and communication is at the forefront of our existence.

Most of the problems I faced as a child growing up was issues of communication.

Learning how to talk and when to talk (which anyone who knows me knows that I’m still working on that one). Learning the appropriate voice tone in specific situations. Learning how to talk to adults. Learning how to listen to people … and learning the fact that listening is a big part (an extremely important part) of communication.

Communication is important; and as we age, mature, grow up, we continue to struggle with it.

It’s not just words … it’s more than words.

And communication is more important than we think.

We go through our entire journey longing for it and developing it (albeit not always developing it very well). We reminisce about our first words. We watch and listen to great orators speak; and without hesitation we could list the specific communication needs that we desire people to use toward us.

All this being said … I wonder why it is so difficult for us to communicate?

Are we scared? Scared that people won’t really want to hear what we have to say? Scared that we will be rejected? Scared that we’ll be wrong?

Why is it so difficult … to state what we think in a rational way … why is it so difficult?

It is one of the most important things in life (if not THE most important thing in life); and we struggle.

And our struggle … my struggle with it doesn’t just affect me. My problems with communication affects everyone in my world. It can damage and destroy and devastate anyone in the vicinity.

The military would refer to it as “friendly fire” … setting ablaze those who are innocent, undeserving … friends, teammates, loved ones.

Communication is more than words and it is vital to our lives (and the lives of those in our world).

Why is it so difficult for us? Why is it so difficult for me?

I want to communicate well … not just in a blog or a piece of writing (because in the whole scheme of things, those things don’t amount to anything). But to those I’m closest to … to those people whose lives connect with mine at some point along the journey, I desire to communicate well.

And when I fail … when I fail to use my words well … when I fail to use my more than words well … what does that say about me?

The answer which my self evaluation uncovered is not pleasant for me to review … it pains me to type and ponder … maybe because it’s true.

Why is communication so difficult for me? What does it say about me that I fail, sometimes, more times than I succeed, as I attempt to communicate well?

My answer: Maybe I care more about myself than I do those around me.

I don’t like reading those words … and I know, instantly, you are reading thinking, “that’s an extreme.” But is it?

Why is it so difficult for me to communicate? Why is it so difficult for you?

Why is it, when we fail, we never seem to hurt ourselves only someone else? We tend to always communicate our desires … our demands, yet the determination to meet the desires of others is a drifting thought.

Why is it?

We can talk. That’s definitely a fact. We can use words; but how are we using them?

We place such high value on others communicating well to us, but we don’t always reciprocate … I don’t always reciprocate.

When everything has been written about me, what will be communicated about me? How were my words used? How did I communicate?

When it matter most … in the lives of those most important to me … in the lives of those who instersected my journey somewhere along the way … what did my more than words sound like?

I don’t have the answer.

Sometimes it makes me nervous to think about; but all I can do is live in the now.

Live in the now and spend every day striving to communicate with excellence toward everyone in my world.

I understand that there will be moments of failure … days of failure … there will be flaws because I am flawed; but I want my life to be marked by the moments of standing back up, dusting myself off, and speaking words of life … using my more than words to bring vitality to those in my world.

I don’t have all the answers … far from it; and sometimes I do get nervous thinking about my journey and the lives which will intersect mine somewhere along the path.

It’s a long journey; and it definitely won’t be easy.

So I am left with this …

What can I do today to make my next step a step toward excellence?

Talking about family (pt.2)…

I am the person I am because of my family … there is no mistaking that fact.

Through the years, I have watched them become the people they are today … amazing, incredible, life-changing people … individuals, who I am proud to call “family.”

I have clapped through the good times and cried through the bad. I have smiled and celebrated through the many successes and triumphant moments of their journeys. I have wept and wrapped them in a loving embrace through the moments of solitude and trouble. They are, after all, my family; and that is what family does.

There are so many good qualities they possess which I envy … which I strive to achieve; and as I’ve watched the life of my older brother progress, I have been in awe.

I owe so much of myself to him.

Since the age of nine, he has been my hero, in more ways than I can describe.

He is talented and creative and funny (though sometimes only I think the last one is true). He is incredible with people … possessing a charm, an influence, and a persuasiveness in his words and actions and demeanor. He is musical; and it’s in this that we connect the most … and it’s in this that my life has been impacted the most by him.

Music has always been our connect … our bridge to life and love and hope and growth. Through the beauty of melody and harmony … music and lyrics … he has taught me so many lessons (more than anyone even realizes). Lessons of confidence and leadership … lessons of influence … lessons of how to handle success and how to recover from mistakes.

Music has always been our connect; and through music, I have truly seen my amazing older brother.

I have seen his life develop … marriage and children and life. I have seen some incredible times and I have seen times less than incredible. Through all those times, I have watched as my older brother became more amazing.

I have noticed that in the bad times … trying times … purifying times … the true nature of a person comes to the surface; and in my older brother it did.

I got a call the other day; and I could hear the excitement in his voice because he had news that I could celebrate. You see, he met someone and not just “someone” … but that special someone.

I hope you know the type of someone I am talking about.

She is the type of someone everyone dreams their loved one will find. The type of someone who “gets them” … understands who they are and doesn’t just embrace their greatness, but helps the loved one continue to achieve greatness.

She is that type of someone.

The type of someone who laughs with him and cries with him. She is the type of someone who loves the good in him and, though there are flaws, sees the beauty in the flaws. She is the type of someone who brings out the best in him because there is so much good in her. She is the type of someone that I have prayed my older brother would find.

I listened to his news and I celebrated … not just because he is my older brother, but because he found something that everyone must find …

My older brother found love; and I couldn’t be happier for him.

You see, I am the person I am because of my family … there is no mistaking that fact; and my older brother has been a huge impact on my life.

I am happy today because of his happiness … and the reason for that happiness.

My older brother continues to make me a better person today, just because he is who he is.

So I leave you with this …

Can someone say the same about you?

World of honesty…

People like being talked about in a nice way, don’t they?

Seriously, it’s one of those things of which most people never tire. There are some people, I know, that get tired of it after awhile; but most people don’t get that way.

Nice words about deeds done. Nice words about a new haircut or outfit or new shoes.

Nice words are just that … nice … and most people never tire of nice.

To me, nice words are best when they are formed, filled, and framed in honesty.

Honest comments. Honest compliments. Honest praise.

Honesty and sincerity are a necessity and greatly appreciated.

(Understand, most compliments are not universally factual; but the honesty of the compliment is based on the complimenter’s perception.)

I appreciate honesty.

Equally true … I don’t like “kissing up.” (I don’t do it and I don’t like when people do it.)

The fake fraudulent behavior or words used in order to try to manipulate the person being “kissed up” to. I don’t like it.

Why is it necessary?

It seems, at times, that we fear honesty. Why is that?

Seriously, I appreciate honesty; and I don’t think I am the only one who will stake that claim. So many people, I know, appreciate honesty as well.

And I wonder sometimes if the great appreciation for honesty … the refreshing nature of honesty … is because it is becoming more and more rare.

Could it be that honesty is becoming extinct … going the way of the dinosaurs … the Commodore 64 … and hopefully, Oprah Winfrey and Kevin Bacon?

I grew up being told that honesty was the best policy.

When did people stop believing that? I sure didn’t get the memo.

I understand there are moments of gray area. Not everything is black and white. But what I also understand is that the moments of gray area … the “not so black and white” moments of life are very few in regards to honesty.

Is fear the reason we mask the truth with ribbons and bows and disguises of “what they want to hear”, “what they want to see”, or “what they want to know?”

Is it because of insecurity we hide behind a wall of protection and guardedness?

Because it’s not that we don’t care. Oh, we care … and we prove that we care by not being honest.

We care … because if we didn’t we would just be honest … we would tell the truth, knowing that it didn’t matter in the least.

Where is the hope behind the wall of insecurity and deception? Where is the life behind the mask of false living and false words? Where is the love inside the lie?

I want honesty to be my breath. I want to live in the world of honesty because I have heard that honesty brings freedom … and it is a life of freedom that I (and you) were intended to live all along. I want to live in that world not just for the sake of myself, but for the sake of those in my world.

So I leave you with this …

Will you live in that world with me?

Hide and seek…

I remember playing hide and seek.

There’s something simple and fun about that game. The joy of hiding. The exhileration of seeking. The triumphant feeling of standing on “base” knowing that the seeker couldn’t find you.

There really is something simple and fun about that game.

Toward the middle of October, I watched a game of hide and seek with a dad and a daughter. It was one of the most amazing games of hide and seek I have ever experienced; (and maybe it will be, until I play with kids of my own).

This game was much different than the ones I had played growing up. It wasn’t different because of the rules … no the difference wasn’t because of the game itself, but because of the people playing the game.

As I sat on a park bench, on a beautiful autumn day in Chicago, I watched the dad cover his eyes and begin to count. His daughter, who had to be eight years old or so, ran and hid behind a tree. With playfulness fitting a dad with absolute adoration for his child, he searched for his “not so well hidden” little girl. Even if she would have been hiding well, he would have been able to follow the sound of her laughter to her exact location.

I realized that this game wasn’t like those I had played growing up. She wanted him to find her. I could hear it in her hopeful giggle … I could see it in her longing face. To be embraced by her seeker was her desire from the very beginning … to be found.

And he did … he found her … and that was the point of the game all along.

I feel lost sometimes.

Lost in my thoughts … in a world that sometimes doesn’t make sense to me. Lost in a world of creativity and emotion and empty endeavors that amount to happiness far less than could be … far less than should be.

Sometimes I feel like that kid, standing victorious on “base” knowing that the seeker couldn’t find him … wishing so much that someone would.

I feel lost sometimes.

And I’ve watched my life recently; and the picture of what I see is less like the days of old … the days of hide and seek with friends … and more like that one autumn day in Chicago.

I can hear my seeker’s voice as I find my spot … the spot perfect for me. With playfulness so fitting a seeker of her beauty and grace, she walks in my direction … in search of me … in search of finding me exactly where I am. My excitement overflowing, I can’t keep my spot a secret … my smile and laughter a barometer of the growing anticipation … the longing to be found.

To be embraced by my seeker has been my desire from the very beginning.

There have been seekers who have walked past … heard my breath … the beat of my heart … yet, never found me.

But not this time … not this seeker … because, from the very beginning, she has been in search of me.

It is her embrace … to be found by her, that is the point of it all … the point of my life.

And she did it … she found me … right where I was all along. Even before I heard her voice I was there … waiting to be found by her.

She found me.

Still … I feel lost sometimes. I have been found, but I still feel lost sometimes.

Lost in a casual moment. Lost in an intimate gaze. Lost in a blissful afternoon of conversation. Lost in an embrace.

I feel lost sometimes … in the life of my seeker … where I was meant to be all along.

So here I sit, on the park bench of my life, gazing at the beauty that found me … like one perfect autumn day in Chicago.

The best thing…

I enjoy words. I know that people say that a picture is worth a thousand of them, but used in the right way words can bring that picture to life.

I enjoy using words … writing words, but it always seems like when I read the words of other people I envy the fact that they could capture my feeling without even knowing me … my situation in life.

Music does this to me. Listening to a strong melody. Listening to deep lyrics. Music takes me into the inner most part of myself. It takes me to a place I can picture … a place of which I dream.

It reminds me … renews me … reviews the person I am … rejuvenates me so I can be the person I need to be.

And it happened again…

Words and music … bringing life and breath to my thoughts and emotions.

Words and music … speaking my words for me.

So…I share my thoughts and words, which were sung by another, with you.

The Best Thing
by Relient K

Needing some ideas…

I’ve been thinking about writing a children’s book lately. A basic idea is in place in my mind … the idea of a series of books that teach communication, friendship, and teamwork to kids through the backdrop of history and sillyness.

I won’t give much of the idea because I don’t want to completely bore you (plus … I don’t want you to steal my idea).

But … I was wondering if you could help me a little:

What kind of skills or situations would be good to include in a children’s book?

I look forward to reading your comments and ideas.

Have a great day.

Thought I knew…

Have you ever thought you had something figured out and then something changed?

That’s all part of life, huh?

I remember growing up … playing baseball … and all the baseball analogies.

Probably the one that sticks in my mind the most is “life throws you a curveball.”

I never got that one for awhile; but I get it now.

Life can change it up … keep you guessing … make you wonder sometimes. Many people don’t like that; but to me it can be exhilerating. (Now, don’t get me wrong, I never like failing … or should I say “swinging and missing” … but change and difference and the curveball if life can be good.

I’ll tell you briefly of my latest experience with the curveball.

I like to write and I like words so I figured I had the whole romantic side of things … the “love stuff” figured out. I could explain it … dialogue about it … sing it … write it … I thought I owned it.

Then came the curveball … and I now understand that everything I thought I knew pales in comparison to what is the reality.

I’m sure you have a similar story; and I would love to read it (if you would like to share it).

What is your experience with the curveball of life?

In eager anticipation…

Has there ever been anything of which you were in eager anticipation?

A birthday.
A holiday.
A movie.
The season premier of a television show.
The beginning of the baseball season … the football season … college football … March Madness.
A first date.
A school dance.
A phone call.
Oprah Winfrey’s show to go off the air.
Kevin Bacon and Ben Affleck to publicly announce their retirement from whatever it is that they do.

There are so many things … so many moments of which people can be in eager anticipation.

I have been in eager anticipation.

When that happens, I start a countdown and my excitement builds.

I have been in eager anticipation over a moment … a moment when my life will be changed forever.

With a smile.
With a touch.
With a connecting gaze … a contagious giggle.
With a life merge that (though confusing to some) makes everything just right.
Perfection … at least to me … perfection.

I am in eager anticipation … and that feeling is changing the way I view everything in my world.

Nothing seems to bother me as much. Nothing seems to taste as good, feel as good, seem as right or as intoxicating, or as perfect because my definition of all those things has changed.

I am in eager anticipation … and my life is changing … getting better … becoming right.

I truly am in eager anticipation; and my life is completely different because of it.

Are you eagerly anticipating anything?

Of what are you in eager anticipation?

Be my valentine…

The day is here. It is today … Valentine’s Day. The day that, at least in America, love is embraced, desired, celebrated.

Love.

The thing we all seek. Everyone wants to feel the “arms wrapped around” feeling of love.

Valentine’s Day reminds us of that.

Reminds us of what we have. Reminds us of what we lack. Reminds us of the thing … the moment … the feeling … the someone we have been searching for our whole lives.

We’re reminded with words on a card or a little candy heart that says, “Be Mine.”

I am lost in the day. The day of celebrated love, candy hearts, and flowers.

I am lost in the day. Lost in the words, in the feeling, in the meaning of it all.

I am lost in the day. Lost in the envigorating words, “Be Mine.”

I am lost in the day. Lost in the thought of forever with the love of my life. Lost in the eyes of life, the embrace of breath, the way love was always intended to be.

I am lost … and I hope you are, too.

Everyone desires love. Everyone is in search of it; and everyone is lovable.

Everyone is lovable. (Never forget that.)

You are worth love. Love wants to embrace you … and would do anything for you … and has done everything for you.

Love looks at you, gazes at you with the look of life, hopes to catch your eyes … hopes to catch your heart.

As much as you and I have been in search of love (because we all are in our own way), love has been in sesrch of us.

And love looks at YOU … heart in hand, uttering the words, “Be Mine.”

Those words are yours because YOU ARE LOVABLE.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Paint by numbers…

Have you ever painted by numbers?

It is so fun. And maybe it’s just fun for me because I’m not a painter. Seriously … I can be creative in a lot of ways; but painting is not one of them. (And hopefully some day that will change.)

Painting by numbers is so fun … and actually, not as easy as I thought it would be. Random numbers, each representig a color, and when it’s all said and done … it turns into an amazing piece of artistic beauty. (Well … that’s the intention.)

I’ve been writing lately … thinking about my life lately … realizing that the backdrop of my life, all the adventures and encounters and activities that make it what it is … is so much like the canvas of a paint by numbers picture. So detailed … so seemingly easy, but ultimately not easy at all.

One wrong color … one little mistake changes the whole appearance of the picture.

And it’s not that the picture would lose it’s beauty … it would just look differently.

Everything necessary … everything connected together to create my life.

I remember painting by numbers and finally getting to that point where I could see the artistic beauty … and that’s an amazing feeling.

Well, lately I’ve been there. Gazing at the paint by numbers canvas of my life and the picture is starting to become apparent.

So many colors creating it. So many encounters painting the canvas. Everything connecting and necessary to create the picture exactly the way it was supposed to be all along.

That’s where I am … gazing at the picture.

Flawed. Colorful. Artisic.

Imperfectly perfect.

Exactly the way it was supposed to be all along.

What does yours look like?

Door number one…

Have you ever wondered what is behind Door Number Two?

I’ve talked to so many people who just question things. So many things. Pretty much everything.

Understand I’m a questioner. I analyze so many different things all the time. I’ve become that way over time.

You know what I’m talking about … I ask the “what ifs” … the “whys” … and so many other questions which suppose that the unknown could be … might be better than the known.

You know what I’m talking about.

But what if … my present is my supposed to be? What if my current was my created to be?

What if Door Number One was it?

I believe that everything leads you to a point. Everything together brings you to the place meant for you … prepares you for that place … makes you ready.

And I am ready.

Ready to rest in the reality that I am where I am supposed to be … I have found what was meant for me all along.

Other doors were opened and the doors weren’t bad, but they weren’t mine to open … they weren’t Door Number One.

My hand is clasping the door knob and the anticipation and realization of the dream come true … the final arrival of the moment I have been being prepared for … the Door which was mine all along.

No questions. No fear. No skepticism.

Door Number One.

What does your Door look like?

I would be…

Sometimes I think about being a superhero. For the people who know me best, this doesn’t come as a surprise.

A superhero.

I’m a big fan of superhero movies. I’m a big fan of Superman; and I know that I’m not the only one.

But if I was a superhero … who would I be? What would be my super power?

Just some thoughts … some questions.

I think I would have regenerative powers. I could heal myself and others. I think that would be great. (Although, I would also love to teleport or just be in all places at once.)

So … I pose the question to you.

What would your superpower be?

I’m just waiting…

What is it about waiting?

I think you can learn so much about people when you watch them wait.

There is just something about patience and the way it looks on people.

When in a hurry or running late, traffic lights always seem to be red and traffic always seems to be bad.

And we wait.

Isn’t that what we do most in life?

Waiting.

Waiting for the light to turn. Waiting for our ship to come in. Waiting for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Waiting for the end of the work day … the end of the work week.

We wait. That’s what we do.

And we can choose to find the bad in it … we can choose the impatience of it all or we can find a reason for the waiting.

Well … I’m just waiting.

And at the end of the waiting awaits something more beautiful than I ever could’ve dreamed.

What is it that awaits you?

I believe in…

Have you ever wondered what it is like to experience the amazing?

Stories are written about it. People fill the theaters to watch it. Artists paint it, sing it, and play it.

Amazing.

People believe it to be a myth … a dream.

But … I believe in its existence.

I believe in the amazing.

I saw it.

Its beauty is captivating. Its fragrance is alluring. Its sound is exhilerating. It’s soft and smooth and loving.

I believe in the amazing because it has changed my life.

And I will spend the rest of my life striving prove my worth.

I believe in the amazing … do you?

What is it (1)…

What is it about change that freaks so many people out?

Change.

Even the word, many times, strikes fear … nervousness into people.

Something about security and being comfortable that relaxes people. But … when did change become a negative thing?

Babies have a dirty pamper and get it changed … that’s not negative (definitely negative).

Underwear gets changed every day (or at least they should) … that’s not negative.

But so many people are afraid of change.

Change.

It can be a good thing … a new start … a new morning. Change can bring life, hope, and happiness.

Change is not something to fear … but it should be something to embrace because with it could come the best thing that has ever happened to you.

But the only way to know … is if you change.

Just being random (10)…

I’m loving the weather, lately. It’s a little rainy; but I can handle it.

The rain usually comes right before absolutely amazing weather. The temperature gets warmer…the flowers come into full bloom…and Spring is upon us.

Short-sleeve shirts. Cargo shorts. Running outside.

Beauty embracing us like a long awaited hug.

And the rain brings life.

I’m loving the weather, lately because just through the clouds is life.